CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. – New Space Force recruits are coming into the service less disciplined and physically weaker this month than the Space Force recruits from last month, sources confirmed today.

“Back when I joined Space Force on June 18th, the recruiting was selective and the training was tough as nails. When we made it to our first unit, we were ready to serve. Now that it’s July, it seems like any whiney college dropout walks into My Space Corps and we have to train them once they get to the Force. I don’t understand this generation,” a senior space force non-commissioned astronaut said on condition of anonymity.

Navy Capt. Bill Ryker, spokesman for the Department of Defense, indicated that a panel was convening to investigate if Space Cadets were getting the right kind of training at Space Camp and indicated that zero-G physical fitness training and rocket-pack road marches would be a renewed priority.