In a major twist in the trial of a Navy SEAL accused of stabbing an ISIS prisoner to death, Chief Special Warfare Operator Eddie Gallagher has come forward with a new confession that has thrown prosecutors for a loop.
"The ISIS prisoner that I stand accused of murdering is, in fact, still alive, and I am him," Gallagher said. "In truth, I possess the souls of all those I have slain in battle. We are one being who transcends any corporeal body, and thus we are all still alive and conjoined in spirit."
Gallagher's defense has argued that since he and the ISIS fighter melded their spiritual energies, no murder possibly could have been committed, as both men are still alive in a metaphysical sense.
Photographs and helmet camera footage of the incident appear to show an aether passing through the space between the fighter's body and Gallagher's. The prosecution claims this was merely the fighter's life force passing on to the realm of Tír na nÓg, and that there is no proof he and Gallagher actually fused their vital energies.
"While it is certainly possible that the two men briefly merged consciousnesses as the quintessential balance around them was upset by the passing of the fighter's lifeblood to another dimension, there is no proof that this transcendence was permanent," prosecutors argued.
"Without access to the appropriate orgone accumulators with which to measure his bions, we must assume he is guilty."
Gallagher's defense, however, says by focusing on the passage of spirits and ignoring the fundamental celestiality of the cosmos, prosecutors are missing the bigger questions about the case.
"This begs the question, 'Can any of us ever truly be killed? Are any of us actually alive to being with?'" defense attorney Tim Parlatore asked in his closing argument. "Perhaps we are all just small parts of the eternal ether which binds our fates and intertwines our essence with that of the primordial beings."