No one at the bar can tell if Coast Guard guy is stealing valor
"Do they have rifles? I thought they used harpoons.”
By Cobra Commander
PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Service members at Baron’s Pub say their knowledge of the history and customs of the U.S. Coast Guard is too hazy to call someone out for stealing valor.
“This guy walks in wearing what could possibly be a Coast Guard uniform,” said Marine Staff Sgt. Jon Kunkle. “I just don’t know if I’ve ever seen one up close before. Or, I guess, from far away.”
Members of other branches of service peppered the alleged coast guardsman with questions trying to spot inconsistencies in his service record.
“We asked him what bases he’s been stationed at, but that didn’t help, because none of us knew what would be a real response,” said Air Force Capt. Ted Borgensmorg.
“Wait, are they even ‘bases’? They’re probably ports, right? Or maybe the Coast Guard has a unique thing like ‘Coasthavens’ or something,” Borgensmorg added.
The questioning continued into the night.
“What rank were you? Did you deploy? What’s DTS? What’s your government travel card number?”
None of t…
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