The following is a point/counterpoint article discussing the importance of keeping quiet on a field op at all costs, while also questioning where farts fit in to the picture. The point will be argued by your company's resident career staff sergeant, and the counterpoint by a standard issue lance corporal expected to adhere.
Point: Alright, Listen up. I'm only going to say this once. When you're out in my field sittin' in your little holes thinking about the last time you were in a warm wet one, you will do so with mouths shut, asses unmoved, and most importantly, rectums puckered good and tight! Once you're done cooking up your little chili mac and chicken chunk, I don't want to hear a peep, good to go? God help any one of you that starts ripping ass in my foxholes.
Counterpoint: Hold up. There are three things in life that will ALWAYS get a laugh: somebody falling down, a guy getting kicked in the nuts, and any variety of fart being passed. It's hard enough to keep it together when you're sweating off your balls during an I.G. inspection, and a little squeaker slips out from a row behind you. But the acoustics alone of a good deep foxhole make it prime pants-shitting space. Expecting a bunch of lance cooleys to pass on that kind of opportunity is unethical, Gunny.
Point: It's uh...staff sergeant.
