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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

0246 Zulu

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· Page 2

Obama hawaiian vacation enhanced by Marine barracks stay

Filed · 1543

KANEOHE BAY, HI — President Barack Obama returned to Washington today, after announcing that he and his family had a "wonderful experience" staying in a Marine barracks during their Christmas vacation in Hawaii.

According to White House spokesman Jay Carney, because of budget shortfalls the First Family was unable to afford their normal residence in nearby Kailua, and for security reasons had to settle for temporary quarters in a military barracks aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii.

While base commander Col. Brian Annichiarico originally offered to put the Obamas up in his house, Carney said the president was insistent that he "live it up" with the troops and get "the real Marine experience."

"I'm sure any of these barracks will do," Obama said, as he and Annichiarico drove around the base. "Hey, how about that one? Mackie Hall ... that looks fine," he said ignoring the retching sound as Annichiarico turned pale and nearly threw up.

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