Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 115

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

1713 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Obama ratifies SOFA by marrying Afghan president's daughter

Filed · 1541

KABUL, Afghanistan — President Obama is set to marry Roxanne, daughter of recently-elected Afghan president Ashraf Ghani Ahmadzai, fulfilling the final terms of the new Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) with the war-torn nation, sources say.

The agreement calls for U.S. troops to continue another year of combat operations against the Taliban, financial support until 2017, and an exchange of brides throughout the country. The city of Kandahar, originally named for Alexander the Great, will be renamed "Obamahar."

All ISAF members are urged to take wives from the local populace and hold marriage ceremonies by the celebration of the new moon, defense officials said. Each platoon will be issued a dowry for each eligible service member of one goat, a baggy of "Naswar," and a cheap watch. These are to appease the fathers, brothers, and cousins of the so-called "SOFA wives."

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!