Odierno Mandates Bigger Name Tape So He Doesn’t Have To Get New Glasses

WASHINGTON — Claiming he is “sick of this goddam presbyopia” and asserting “it’s finally time to do something about it,” Army Chief of Staff Raymond Odierno today ordered everyone in the Army to double the size of name tags and name tape, sources tell Duffel Blog.

“I’m not old, goddammit! 60 is not old!” Odierno said. “I’m not getting any new goddammed g…