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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Friday, 13 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

13 November 2026

1810 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Total asshole at operations meeting asks a question

Filed · 1543

THE COMPANY OFFICE — A complete and total fucking asshole that everyone wishes would just die already actually has a goddamned question at the end of the operations meeting we've been in for six fucking hours, sources confirmed today.

Responding to the battalion commander's request for anyone to speak up "if they have any saved rounds," sources confirm that piece of shit 1st Lt. Nathan Benjamin actually opened up his goddamn cum dumpster instead of keeping it shut so we could get out of this godforsaken room.

"Yeah sir, I just have a quick question," Benjamin reportedly said, indicating he had a simple question but you know goddamn well it's going to turn into some super-long bullshit that's going to delay us another hour. "What's your guidance on what to do if the main effort of the patrol comes under fire?"

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