50 years ago today, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and I took part in one of the greatest adventures in the history of mankind. Together we landed on the moon, planted a flag, and drew a penis on the lunar surface.

The world watched as Armstrong and I hopped off the lunar module and heard Neil’s poetic words, the first ever uttered from the surface of a heavenly body other than earth. What they did not hear that day is my follow up to Neil, telling him that I was going to trace out a big ol’ dong on the moon’s surface.

Armstrong and Collins were both supportive as soon as I laid out my plan. Collins helped direct me from above so the balls wouldn’t be all lopsided. Armstrong was mostly busy with getting the flag set up but kept insisting I add more detail like some scraggly pubes or veins on the shaft. Despite his urging, I kept it simple, clean, and classic, with a 15-foot shaft standing proudly between two balls and topped with a mushroom head the size of a small car.