By Chad Buffandpuff III

I heard you talking earlier about how you were in the military. First, thank you for your service. That’s awesome and I want to let you know, I appreciate your sacrifice and I definitely would’ve joined up myself if I wasn’t absolutely sure it’s way beneath me. I have a ton of respect for the troops, especially those who I assume didn’t have other options or weren’t smart enough to do something else like go to college and get a regular job like I did. So basically all of them.

I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like. I mean, I’ve never really had to try because I did well in high school so I had other options but it’s so impressive that you probably didn’t and decided to serve rather than be homeless. Did you ever kill anyone?

It must be amazing to be part of the less-than-1-percent who serve. I mean sure, a big part of that other 99 percent totally could have since they’ll take anyone but you put it all on the line for the nation. You’re a member of America’s W…