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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1406 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
Veterans · Page 2

Paralyzed veteran literally can't even right now

Filed · 1534

STILLWATER, Okla. — Local veteran Chase Wilkerson, a former Army infantryman and quadriplegic, literally can’t even right now, sources confirmed today.

Wilkerson, who was paralyzed by an IED strike in Iraq, is unbelievably serious, according to a source familiar with the situation.

His inability to do anything was on full display this morning, after his wife Hillary told him to stop watching so much TV.

“You literally need to get off your ass and turn that thing off,” she screamed at him. “And clean this shit up!” she added after stepping in a puddle from Wilkerson’s leaky colostomy bag.

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