By Zoltar the Malignant

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Air Force 1st Lt. Jack Livingston eliminated a senior al-Qaida leader with his Reaper drone while simultaneously letting his parents know that their newest grandchild has a dong this week.

Seconds after the 500-lb. JDAM loosed by the Reaper slammed into the terrorist’s compact car half a world away in rebel-held northwest Syria, Livingston’s proud parents whooped with joy as a blue mushroom cloud roiled skyward on the display screen. 

“It’s a boy, Ma!” said Livingston as his mother hugged him, while his fellow airmen at the 174th Attack Wing command center at Hancock Field Air National Guard Base, alternated between getting confirmation of the kill and congratulating Livingston for not pulling out of the former exotic dancer at the Cinnamon Bobcat just outside the main gate.

While the Pentagon has tolerated the fad of “gender reveal kinetic military actions” so long as mission objectives were being met, sources say that senior military leaders are …