PENTAGON – Pentagon officials have expressed concern in recent days that the former commander of the USS Theodore Roosevelt may have infected other commanders with a desire to place the well-being of their troops over loyalty to senior leadership, sources confirmed Friday.

“The seriousness of this cannot be overstated,” said Col. Vance Kushner, a Pentagon spokesman. “This isn’t like some kind of virus threatening the health and well-being of our soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen. This is much worse. This makes us sitting here in the Pentagon look like out-of-touch asses.”

A task force to study the issue has already been assembled, according to sources, comprised of senior leaders devoting whatever resources necessary to stop what has been dubbed “Crozier-20” from spreading.