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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Monday, 2 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Secretary says historic artifact looks better without America's allies

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

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Vol. 15 · No. 131

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

2 November 2026

0358 Zulu

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Navy & Marines · Page 5

Pimpatronic 5000 appointed as Navy Vice Admiral of vice

Filed · 1536

WASHINGTON — Sir Orgasmotron Electrokisses IV has been appointed the Navy's 56th Vice Admiral of Vice, and was sworn in at a small ceremony today in the Pentagon's pleasure gardens during the new autumn moon amidst a roiling mass of bodies, flesh, and stink, sources confirmed.

"Welcome brothers and sisters in sin," oozed Orgasmotron while a spinning disco-ball raised from the middle of a large champagne fountain. "I hereby swear to fulfill my duties under Article Sex of the United States Constitution," he continued while penetrating a young intern with numerous pleasure tentacles.

Admiral Electrokisses is the newest in the Pimpatronic line — model 5,000. He comes equipped with dozens of detachable arms, seven access ports, a 15k generator, and four mouths, among other features.

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