Pornhub opens first SIPR website
MONTREAL, Canada — U.S. troops stationed abroad now have 24-hour access to the latest hardcore pornography from back home, thanks to a deal that allows adult website Pornhub to host explicit material on the military's secret classified networks, sources confirmed today.
MindGeek, the Canadian company which owns Pornhub, signed the deal nicknamed "OPSUCK" with the Department of Defense.
Sources say the Pentagon's decision follows years of pent-up frustration by U.S. troops stuck on bases in the Middle East sharing pornography at least a decade old and stained with the fluids of countless heroes.
The unconventional decision just reflects the realities of modern warfare, according to Gen. Scott Miller, who commands all U.S. forces in Afghanistan and has been working closely with Pornhub.
"Back home, our men and women in uniform are just used to a constant hot and horny fuckfest of freedom," Miller told reporters. "We've had to remove countless terabytes of pornography from our classified net…
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