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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2143 Zulu

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← Front page
· Page 2

President Obama visits Afghanistan, shoots three Taliban fighters

Filed · 1547

FORWARD OPERATING BASE SALERNO — Today the American people are recovering from the shocking news that President Barack Obama came under enemy fire earlier this week in Afghanistan. While visiting with soldiers and key leaders there, the President came under attack from insurgents, cutting him off from delivering his speech.

"We must finish the job we started in Afghanistan, and end this war responsibly," he said to a crowd of soldiers at FOB Salerno, near the city of Khost.

At that moment the base began taking mortar fire from a group of insurgents firing from some nearby hills.

As Obama's Secret Service detail threw him to the ground for protection, Specialist Hector Peterson ran over and handed him his M9 pistol, saying, "Here you go sir, you'll need this."

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