Professional veteran celebrates Independence Day by making holiday all about himself

MODESTO, Calif. — Following up on his success in correcting the narrative of federal holidays such as Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to include recognition of America's veterans, local veteran Thomas Shinter is planning to celebrate the birth of the country by making it all about himself.

"This July 4th, we honor the men and women who fought for this great nation that we all love," Shinter told reporters. "And especially those who did not make it back. Rest in peace to my brothers Spc. Willie Garcia and Sgt. 1st Class Anthony Beamer."

"And let's not forget the 22 veterans a day who kill themselves," he added. "It's really sad that people are celebrating with fireworks and barbecues and they don't even think about this sort of stuff."

As Shinter noted in a lengthy Facebook post today, the birth of the United States would never have been possible without the contributions of America's veterans, who fought in numerous wars to keep this nation free and safe.

That includes Shinter's contribution to the nation's security, which involved a number of deployments to Kuwait, a well-known hotbed of terror and intense combat. Then there was also that 30-day period when he was attached to 1st Cavalry Division in Iraq, or "the shit" as he put it.

"The Declaration of Independence could not have been signed on July 4, 1776 without the support of the Continental Army, which was established the year before," said Shinter, an amateur historian who dedicates a good portion of his time to write pro-veteran commentary on strangers' Facebook posts.

According to sources in the professional veteran community, Shinter is leading the way in correcting the false narrative that Independence Day is solely about the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The 4th of July, like all other federal holidays, is a celebration of the service and sacrifices of America's veterans, and every citizen should thank them for their service and for the fact that they're speaking English right now.

"If we hadn't invaded Iraq, everyone would be speaking Arabic right now," Shinter said. "Well I say imshi, Mohammed."

In addition to his numerous posts on Facebook, Shinter plans to go door-to-door to tell his neighbors about veterans and ask that they not use fireworks to celebrate, just as soldiers in the Continental Army did some 241 years ago.