PSYOP authorized to wear new tin foil berets

By As For Class

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Psychological Operations community has long been known to be sort of weird. They have reached a new high, though, after finally receiving approval from the Department of Defense to wear tin foil berets.

The metallic new beret comes as a compromise between the Special Forces community and the Psychological Operations community. While PSYOP argues that it was technically the first SOF organization, tracing its lineage to PSYWAR, Special Forces argues that PSYOP is dumb.

Many rumors surround PSYOP, insisting that they are: aliens, the Illuminati, window-lickers, Ben Affleck, and also a number of profanities. It is often difficult to surmise which rumors about PSYOP are real, and which rumors are PSYOP just fucking with us, though.

Psychological Operations has long been known within the SOF community as the quietest of the quiet professionals. Qualifying for the title for having literally one, maybe even two books written about what they do.

Of note, only one book sort of counts as an autobiography and it is desperately lacking of the sort of juiciness that the Rangers, SEALS, Special Forces, and pretty much every other super classified organization writes about when they gather their briefcases full of money. There are no war crimes in there, no epic sex scenes, and they don’t compromise a single classified program. It’s disappointing to say the least.

It's as if they’re not even trying to be SOF.

The Civil Affairs community has asked that they also be allowed to wear tin foil hats, but they want theirs to be purple.

The Ranger Regiment has declined to comment, and SOAR giggled when they were informed of the recent decision.