WASHINGTON — President Obama has authorized a targeted drone strike against Russian President Vladimir Putin following his country's controversial troop movements into Ukraine's Crimea, senior administration officials confirmed today.

Putin, 61, was added to the controversial "kill list" on Saturday shortly after speaking with the president in a 90-minute phone call. Following the call, the White House readout indicated that Obama spoke for approximately 30 minutes while Putin laughed continuously for the last 60.

"I mean seriously," senior aides reported Obama as saying. "Fuck that guy."