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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2216 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

'Quiet professional' is neither

Filed · 1534

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — A U.S. Army Special Operations Command soldier and self-proclaimed 'quiet professional' is neither, according to several of his civilian and military peers.

"There goes that asshole [Staff Sgt.] Bruckner again, using his Special Ops status to impress local women into coming home with him from the bar," said Sgt. Alan Hale, one of Bruckner's coworkers, as he looked at several newly-posted selfies on the latter's Facebook profile. "If you ask me, our boss should have kicked him back to the Big Army ages ago."

As a member of a command home to some of the nation's most elite forces, Lance Bruckner has distinguished himself from his colleagues through his lackadaisical military bearing, barely-in-regs haircuts, and loud mouth while off-duty — particularly on social media.

This has earned him the frustration of his chain of command and resentment of his fellow soldiers, sources say.

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