Raytheon wins contract to send six guys to stare at shit
WASHINGTON — Raytheon won an exclusive contract to send six retired guys out to stare at shit, sources report.
The six guys will come out next week and will wander around for a month. For a few hours a day they will stand in front of a computer stack and stare at it with their arms crossed. Afterward, they will grab hold of a supervisor at a wildly inappropriate time.
“We're here for the reboot, so you need to take the system down,” they'll say, referring to a system that has been working without an issue for years. One will pull out a laptop and announce the instructions on how to restart a computer. Nobody is allowed to ask if this multimillion dollar contract could be completed by giving an E-4 the laptop.
While the reboot is going on, the contractors will start talking amongst themselves. “They hired us for our experience, but when I was in we didn't even have this,” one of them will say.
“This all went to shit because of Hillary Clinton.”
“Looks good,” one will say when the computer c…
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