REPORT: Battalion OOD passes within 20 yards of barracks party, frightened attendees say

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — A tense situation is underway at the 9th Communications Battalion barracks aboard Camp Pendleton, Duffel Blog has learned.

At approximately 10:41 p.m., battalion officer of the day 1st. Lt. Stan Patterson passed within 20 yards of an outdoor barracks party in progress and reportedly made direct eye contact with several Marines present, sources say.

According to witnesses on the scene, the OOD then continued past the group and disappeared from sight in the vicinity of the barracks duty NCO hut. No fewer than 12 Marines from Alpha and Bravo companies have initiated a temporary stand-down of their beer pong game amidst uncertainty regarding 1st Lt Patterson’s as-of-yet undetermined level of chill.

The party reportedly began when Lance Cpls. Smith and Juarez relocated their stereo to the vicinity of the smoke pit, followed shortly by Lance Cpl. Jerome Washington, who reportedly also contributed the first of three cases of Coors Light. Despite reported disagreements regarding the genre of music to be played, festivities had apparently proceeded without incident until 1st Lt. Patterson’s appearance.

“I don’t know man, I think if he had a problem he would have said something,” said Lance Cpl. Robert Parkley of Alpha Company, as he discreetly pushed a case Coors Light farther under the picnic table.

“I’ve never heard of an OOD checking IDs, but maybe we should take this into Valdez’s room,” claimed Lance Cp. Joseph Peters, 20, one of four underage Marines at the event.

None of the party attendees were familiar with the 25-year old lieutenant, although Parkley recalled that a friend, currently assigned to Patterson’s platoon in Charlie Company, had apparently claimed that the lieutenant was “alright.”

Tensions rose again approximately eight minutes after the first sighting once Patterson re-emerged from the hall adjacent the duty hut.

At least one attendee on scene suggested consulting with the barracks duty under the presumption that the OOD must have spoken within him in the intervening minutes. This course of action was eventually decided against in light of claims from several attendees that the barracks duty, Cpl. Jason Conners, was “a chode.”

It was eventually decided that beer pong would resume pending further developments, but that stereo volume would be reduced by no less than 35 percent for the remainder of the evening.

At press time, 1st Lt. Patterson had returned to the battalion duty hut to continue watching “Gotham” on his laptop.