REPORT: Syrian President Bashar al-Assad Has A Smoking-Hot Wife
While the United States debates a military response to the Syrian government's alleged use of chemical weapons on Aug. 21, Americans were shown this photo of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad with his wife, Asma, and asked for their thoughts. Here is what they said:
"Would. Just without the whole gassing a neighborhood part. [Bashar] could have saved everyone a shitload of trouble by just retiring to some tropical island with stout asylum laws to bang his smoking hot wife for the rest of his days. Now he's gonna get a Tomahawk in his bedroom window."
"9/10 would commit genocide with."
"Is that guy on the right Osama bin Laden?"
"That woman is like Princess Jasmine, except when she rubs the bottle, poison gas comes out."
"I would absolutely breathe sarin gas just to have five minutes alone with her."
"He kind of looks like John Turturro. I almost think he's about to say 'nobody fucks with the Bashar.'"
"The necklace was probably made from bones of dead civilians. It really accents her cheekbones."
"He seems like a nice guy."