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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

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· Page 2

Retired Gen. Dunford looks forward to being hired, fired as SecDef

Filed · 1552

THE PENTAGON — Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joe Dunford recently retired after 42 years of military service, but he won't be putting the Pentagon in his rear view mirror just yet. Sources close to President Donald Trump report he is considering hiring Dunford as Secretary of Defense and promptly firing him, in keeping with recent tradition.

Dunford, who famously earned the nickname "Fighting Joe" for the effort he made to avoid Pentagon assignments, seems to be ready to accept his fate.

He said of his retirement, "I hoped to spend some quiet time with the family, catch a few Red Sox games, and keep up with my fitness. I'd also like to get my tour as Secretary of Defense over with as quickly as possible, so I can finally live in peace."

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