Russian armored division destroyed by soldier’s 20th leg tuck
Leg tucks increase lethality. It's science.
By Cat Astronaut
FULDA GAP — Army leaders are celebrating today after a soldier with the 173rd Airborne Brigade destroyed an entire Russian armored division by completing his 20th leg tuck during his unit’s Army Combat Fitness Test.
“We knew leg tucks increased lethality, but we had no idea just how powerful they were until we put them to the test in combat,” said Gen. Christopher Cavoli, the commander of U.S. Army Europe and Africa. “I think the complete destruction wrought by this brave soldier as a division of Russian T-90 main battle tanks roared across the Fulda Gap proves that leg tucks will be our key weapon in a great power conflict.”
Cpl. Taylor Griffin had been practicing leg tucks for the past year in preparation for the ACFT. But he thought he’d be able to destroy “one or two tanks at most” by maxing out his score on the test.
“I was confident that my core was strong enough to delay a Russian armored invasion of Europe with 18 or 19 leg tucks,” said Cpl. Griffin. “But as I sta…
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