WASHINGTON — For at least the past three months, Navy Reserve Commander and current White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has been desperately begging his chain of command to activate him on multi-year-long orders “to anywhere remote," Duffel Blog has learned.

“Admiral, I just want to reassure you that my desire to be immediately deployed is not in any way an attempt to escape any personal or professional issues I may or may not be currently experiencing. I simply love the Navy and want to support the mission," Spicer wrote one of his top officers in an email leaked to reporters. "By the way, if there’s nothing available in Djibouti, I'll take Wake Island, Diego Garcia, wherever. Also, I’ve heard that there’s pretty limited communications to and from a submerged ballistic missile submarine. Are there any PAO billets on those?”

One source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said “It’s not just that [Spicer] begs the chain of command to deploy him, but we’re pretty sure he is the first naval reservist in history who actually looks forward to drill weekend."