JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, TX — The Air Force has unveiled an innovative but controversial new physical training test program that gives airmen the ability to choose from a “menu” of options to demonstrate their fitness levels. For the aerobic fitness portion, in addition to traditional running, airmen can choose speed walking or — perhaps less embarrassingly — drive a Segway personal transporter to complete a rudimentary two-mile obstacle course.

“Almost immediately after we announced that walking was going to be an option on the PT test, we started getting a lot of guff from folks inside and outside of the Air Force,” said Lt. Gen. Brian Kelly, the deputy chief of staff for Manpower, Personnel and Services. “So we listened, and added the Segway as a more dignified alternative to walking.”

The “Segway Sprint” requires that the airman not be allowed to listen to music and that the course be lined with service members from other branches to watch them in judgmental silence. There is no time requirement since the event feels like it takes forever no matter how long it actually lasts.