Separating Soldier Desperate To Climb Back Into Army Vagina, Safety Of Federal Womb

FORT HOOD — A soldier soon to be leaving the Army after his return from Afghanistan is desperate to remain inside the warm safety and security of the Army's vagina, sources confirmed Monday.

Specialist Andrew Rigbe, an active-duty soldier and intelligence analyst for six years known for his off-the-wall PowerPoint presentations, expressed abject terror a…