Sgt. Maj. of the Army tells Chief of Staff he’ll never make it on the outside

THE PENTAGON -- Command Sgt. Maj. Michael A. Grinston, the 16th Sgt. Maj. of the Army, told Army Chief of Staff James C. McConville that he’ll “never make it on the outside,” during a heart-to-heart counseling session Tuesday after McConville mentioned this might be his last assignment.

Grinston, who feels that retention is a personal responsibility of his, told McConville, “You’ve got your rent paid with BAH, free healthcare, and good NCOs looking out for you.

“Do not fuck this up by trying to make it on your own away from the sweet teat of Uncle Sam.”

McConville, who has nearly 40 years of time in the Army, had better “stretch that shit out,” according to Grinston, because “a chucklefuck like you wouldn’t be able to learn something new.”

Grinston went on to mention that “Maria really likes shopping at the Commissary, and probably wouldn’t appreciate paying more money for groceries.”

Grinston went on to offer his custom new challenge coin and a “Go Army!” key chain if McConville would swear that he’d stay in.