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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0523 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

The Duffel Blog would like to retract its story regarding Sergeant Smith

Filed · 1543

In all journalistic endeavors, mistakes are sometimes made. We here are Duffel Blog would like to come clean and admit such a mistake. The Duffel Blog editorial board recently published an article entitled, "Sergeant Smith From Alpha Company is a Total Dick."

This article contains numerous factual mistakes, slanted reporting, and a grossly inappropriate tone, and for that, we truly apologize.

Sgt. Smith, with the Ford F-150, in Alpha Company is a true patriot. He joined the United States Army right out of high school, despite the scholarship opportunities he had to various prestigious universities. He is all the more admirable because he enlisted, not out of self-interest, but out of a sincere desire to help his country in its time of need.

He is a strong, able, and moral soldier who exemplifies the Army Values. Seldom is a bad word ever spoken about the man, and his soldiers all agree that his leadership is the defining factor of their individual careers. He has thus served as a mentor and friend to hundreds of young men and women, touching each, and leaving an indelible mark. Smith's peers all agree that there is no other person whom they would have watching their backs in a tough spot. Furthermore, they unilaterally suggest his name for higher leadership positions.

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