SHARP, EO Training Necessary for 'Readiness,' Army Leaders Insist

WASHINGTON — Gen. Mark Milley says Army readiness is closely to linked SHARP, EO, and online SERE training during a breakfast session during the annual AUSA Spring Convention on Tuesday.

During the event, which was live-tweeted by Army Public Affairs with gratuitous use of the hashtag, “#Readiness,” Milley linked mundane garrison bullshit to victory on the battlefield.

“Okay, look, we don’t have the money to buy new equipment, fix our old equipment, or pay for more training opportunities,” Milley said.“But that’s okay, because we can still enhance our readiness by going to the dentist.”

Milley reiterated what he said in an article for ARMY Magazine, “Readiness makes our enemies think we’re ready for war and thus deters war."

At the Pentagon, Army officials highlighted the link between an increase in flu vaccines and Russia’s recent withdrawal of large numbers of troops from Syria.

“Russia announced its withdrawal on March 15,” Pentagon Spokesman Peter Cook said. “We held our last flu vaccine clinic March 13. Coincidence?”

“I think not.”

Lt. Gen. Stephen Townshend, the senior mission commander of Fort Bragg, N.C., is carrying the crusade to his troops, making readiness his number one priority at Fort Bragg.

“We’ve renamed our annual All-American Week, ‘Readiness Week,’” Townshend said. “And we have our proctologists working double shifts to ensure no one's rectum has an impact on combat effectiveness.”

Not everyone is fully on board with the readiness push. One combatant commander, who would only speak on condition of anonymity, admits, “Okay, sure, it doesn’t make us any more ready to fight the Russians, but we’re broke here. We’ve gotta stay busy doing something.”