SHOCK: Army admits flu shot paperwork keeps getting lost because it wants you to die

FORT LEAVENWORTH — The Army has admitted to losing your flu shot paperwork because it wants you to die. Like, for realz.

The Army was pretty chill about its admission, not getting all emotional about it, saying, “Yeah, I lost your shit and I hope you die, bro.”

Last week, Capt. Patrick Redshirt, a student at the Army's Command and General Staff College, r…