Lt. Col. Sinclair's Genie Awaiting Final Wish
WASHINGTON, DC — A genie imprisoned by former 82nd Airborne deputy commander and champion hot dog eater Lt. Col. Jeffrey Sinclair has reported it is eagerly awaiting his master's third and final wish.
"My master, glorious sahib that he is, has used up two of his allotted three wishes," the genie said from inside the brass lamp where he was discovered several years ago. "I have provided the many women which he, peace and blessings be upon, sought to have carnal relations with, and then have convinced the military qadis to drop all the charges against him."
The genie, an ancient being created by Allah in the sands of the desert out of fire and smoke, was eagerly anticipating his pending freedom after being imprisoned in the lamp for several hundred years as a Ramadan joke.
Sinclair, a less-ancient being created in the halls of the Pentagon out of wind and bullshit, is also eagerly anticipating his pending freedom after being fined $20,000 and demoted two ranks f…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.