The following is an op-ed by Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III.

Listen up troops. Listen really closely. You want to put your hands in your pockets? Too friggin' bad. It's right there in AR 670-1. I helped write that piece of beautiful literature. I know the cost that comes with putting your hands in your pockets: the lives of soldiers.

You think I'm jerkin' you around? You think that putting your hands in your pockets doesn't hurt anyone? Tell that to all the troops we lost in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can only imagine that someone around them had their hands in their pockets instead of manning a .50 or applying pressure to a sucking chest wound.

I'm going to tell it to you straight. Those fools that started a petition to allow members of the military to put their hands in their pockets are putting your lives at risk. Not only that, but they jumped the chain of command. I'll personally rain down an unwordly heck upon them myself, those friggin' idiots.