Despite Switching Urine Samples, Soldier Still Tests Positive For Drugs
FORT CARSON, Colo. — Spc. Sam DeLoach has been charged with thirty-two counts of illegal possession and use of controlled narcotics, but has asked a military judge to dismiss the charges because the urine is not actually his own, according to his attorney.
“Jenna Beerly gave me her piss because I had been smoking weed," DeLoach said in a written statement. "Just ask her.”
DeLoach, an outspoken marijuana advocate, was randomly selected for the ninth consecutive time to take the urinalysis test last Monday.
“Do a DNA test on the pee or whatever, but don’t send me to jail for no ten years, man!” his statement concluded.
Spc. Jenna Beerly has confirmed DeLoach’s allegation, and the dozens of powerful opiates match the legitimate prescriptions Beerly uses to treat her shin splints.
"I didn't want him to get busted for weed," Beerly reportedly told friends.
Regardless, DeLoach’s commander has decided to proceed with charging DeLoach as if the urine were his.
“You snort the line, you do the time!” …
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