Soldiers accidentally summon Cthulhu after commander forgets to give weekend safety brief

FORT BELVOIR, Va. – It felt like any other Friday as Capt. David Clark was driving home. Unable to get off post before the loud speakers sounded Retreat, he stood at the position of attention outside his car. That's when he began to suspect something was wrong.

"The sky started turning dark red," said Clark, "and I noticed a black funnel cloud swirling o…