Soldiers accidentally summon Cthulhu after commander forgets to give weekend safety brief
FORT BELVOIR, Va. – It felt like any other Friday as Capt. David Clark was driving home. Unable to get off post before the loud speakers sounded Retreat, he stood at the position of attention outside his car. That's when he began to suspect something was wrong.
"The sky started turning dark red," said Clark, "and I noticed a black funnel cloud swirling off in the distance near my company's barracks."
That's when it dawned on him.
"Fuck me, I forgot to give the safety brief," Clark said to himself.
Just 15 minutes earlier, Clark had released everyone for the weekend. There were so many announcements on this particular day that the safety brief completely slipped his mind. He jumped into his car and scrambled to get back to the barracks, but it was already too late.
"This giant octopus-faced thing is out front is ripping up all the first sergeant's grass," said Clark, remembering the scene as he pulled into the parking lot. "And of course all my soldiers are standing around with that guilty-…
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