Soldiers evicted from barracks to protect endangered black mold species

Don't worry, the mold is safe.

FORT JACKSON, S.C. — The Army forcibly removed soldiers from three barracks clusters last night to preserve a recently discovered species of toxic black mold, sources confirmed today.

“We can confirm that a high-value mold species was positively identified last night,” said Army spokesperson August Corda. “[Non-commissioned officers] were conducting the …