Space boot won't stop wearing exoskeleton out in town

WILD HORSE, Colo. – Eyes rolling with the centripetal force of a parabolic orbit, sources derided a newly minted space cadet’s efforts to impress the local populace today, unanimously cataloguing the Space Force’s freshest specimen as a “total fucking boot.”

“Fuck, could he possibly try harder?” asked Tech Sgt. Emily Waller. “This douche is trying to pic…