Space Force bans Moon landings after discovering rare species of lunar tortoise

By Cat Astronaut

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Space Force has placed a temporary ban on all landings on the surface of the moon after discovering an endangered lunar tortoise habitat there.

“Effective immediately, all moon landings, moon amphibious assaults, and low-gravity live-fire ranges are prohibited,” read a memo posted on the Space Force’s website. “As official military representatives of this planet, it is imperative that we do everything we can to protect all the species of the Solar System, even if that means putting a halt on lunar combat training for a while.”

Animal rights groups have long sought to protect native species from the impacts of training aboard military bases. According to researchers, testing a space laser on the moon’s surface or leaving behind a wheat snack bread package in an impact crater can have second and third-order effects on lunar wildlife.