WASHINGTON — With President Donald Trump's announcement of a new Space Force service branch, military doctors are preparing themselves for the impossible but now necessary task of performing rocket surgery, sources confirmed today.

“When I was enlisted as a medic, if we were failing at something, first sergeant would say ‘it ain’t rocket surgery,’” said Army Lt. Col. (Dr.) Harrison Patrick, a physician at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. “Every veteran has come to understand that, in first sergeant's estimation, rocket surgery is the most difficult thing a human being could conceive of.”

Top medical experts are still uncertain as to whether rocket surgery will consist mostly of performing surgery on soldiers while riding inside a rocket or performing surgery on an organic rocket that has been injured by soldiers. But just to be sure, sources say, Space Force doctors are attempting to learn both.