ARMSTRONG LUNAR BASE, MOON – Tragedy struck the U.S. Space Force Academy yesterday as its entire graduating class suffocated during the celebratory helmet toss.

“To be fair, this was the very first graduating class of our nation’s newest service academy,” said Chief of Space Operations, General Jay Raymond, “We’ll for sure have to add this to next year’s lessons learned.”

Sources close to the matter claim that concerns over the helmet-toss were brought up during the event planning phase, but rapidly dismissed by top officials. One general cited a 1994 episode of “The Magic School Bus,” wherein “that little, nerdy dude takes off his helmet in space and is fine,” as reasoning to continue the event as planned.