COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — A member of the Space National Guard who commutes from Colorado has expressed regret in picking the Moon as his drill base after leaving active duty, sources confirmed today.

"Man, I really screwed myself over with this gig," Technical Sgt. Arthur C. Clarkson said on a video-call from his bedroom as he was getting packed for his trip. "I thought the educational benefits from the Space National Guard would be worth it, but I didn't take into account how exhausting it would be commuting five days each direction every month."

Clarkson walked outside and threw his uniforms into the trunk of his privately-owned spacecraft, expressing his annoyance at having to travel such a vast distance every two-and-a-half weeks just to get paid $246.64 for every unit training assembly.