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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 113 · Tuesday, 22 September 2026

Pentagon

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

White House sources say object would bring “much-needed stability” to Pentagon

Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan

First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight

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Vol. 15 · No. 113

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Vol. 15 · No. 113 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

22 September 2026

0102 Zulu

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· Page 2

Staff engineer tired of hearing about clogged toilets

Filed · 1550

FORT LEONARD WOOD, Mo. — After two years on the brigade staff team as the operations officer, Capt. Joshua Moore is fed up with fellow soldiers coming to tell him that the toilet is clogged again.

"Do these people realize just because they aren't an engineer by trade, they can still pick up a fucking plunger and push their shit down the drain themselves?" said Capt. Moore. "No, instead, they come to me with a smug grin on their face just to tell me something is wrong with the bathroom again instead of picking up the phone and calling in a work order." Moore said. Department of public works (DPW) usually handles faulty items around military installations and will respond within 48 hours after a work order is called in.

"It's not my fault that every logistics officer chose some occupational specialty that doesn't require them to do anything more than work on excel sheets and PowerPoint presentations" said Moore. "But because my title 'brigade engineer,' these idiots automatically assume that I'm 'Bob the fucking Builder' and will gladly fix every leaky faucet and clogged shitter with a smile on my face," he said.

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