Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 118 · Friday, 2 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Unit leaders say his ability to stick with the mission is unmatched

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 118

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 118 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

2 October 2026

2351 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Staff Sergeant dodges deployment to avoid Star Wars viewing

Filed · 1551

FORT IRWIN — Staff Sgt. Darren Eden has reportedly turned down a 6 month deployment to an "undisclosed location in Southwest Asia" in order to avoid feeling compelled to see an early viewing of the new Star Wars film, Rise of Skywalker.

Eden has a long history of avoiding Star Wars like the plague since childhood, when his older Star Wars-obsessed brother made him be an Ewok during their make-believe games of Rebels and Stormtroopers.

"You don't even know, guy," said Eden. "If I spot a lightsaber at the mall, I run the other way. Just the thought of that Jar-Jar thing gives me anxiety."

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!