FORT POLK, La. — Army Staff Sgt. Ronald Freeman has achieved nothing on his own, but only as a vessel for Him, according to remarks he gave at his Friday retirement ceremony, where he gave all credit back to God for blessing him with the strength to be a shitty non-commissioned officer.

“It made me doubt my faith,” said Pfc. Andrew Lewis, a member of Freeman’s platoon. “If Sgt. Freeman is a vehicle for God’s work, why does God want us to have such shitty leadership?”

Freeman, who was given an Army Achievement Medal as a retirement award, is well regarded as the least effective NCO in the battalion. Between rambling, incoherent work plans distinguishing himself by falling out of group runs, Freeman has given his soldiers plenty of time to consider why an all-powerful God would choose such an imperfect tool for His work and then only channel enough of his limitless grace to make Freeman barely meet the standard.

“It is only through God who gives that I’m able to serve my country as a soldi…