Inaugural ‘State Of The Caliphate’ Address Met With Blank Stares From Pyramid Of Severed Heads

RAQQA, Syria – Sources confirmed that today’s momentous first "State of the Caliphate" address was met with underwhelming indifference by both the audience in attendance and a handful of crickets.

Despite the fiery rhetoric and impassioned delivery of Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the highly-anticipated speech marking the Islamic State’s first year as a w…