Superman Rejected For Military Service Since He's An Illegal Alien
OCEANSIDE, Calif. — Despite being the most overqualified candidate ever to volunteer, Superman has been rejected for Army service because he's an illegal alien, Duffel Blog has learned.
When he walked into the Oceanside Army National Guard's recruiting office, Sgt. 1st Class Armando Lamb knew he was the perfect recruit.
"Faster than a bullet, stronger than a locomotive and can't be killed by either?" Lamb said. "He was a recruiter's dream come true. Normally, we get overweight high school dropouts or Marines who weren't picked up for promotion. Seriously, my job sucks."
Superman initially glossed over his immigration status with the recruiter and flew through the recruiting process.
"He scored a 290 on his ASVAB," said Lamb. "It's the test you take to enlist and the highest possible score is 99. He did almost fail his medical, but thankfully, he listened to me when I told him to lie about being allergic to Kryptonite."
Despite his incredible aptitude, sources said Superman was rejected dur…
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