Talent show on Coast Guard cutter down to that one asshole with a ukulele

SOUTH PACIFIC OCEAN – On the Coast Guard Cutter Venturous, the crew hosted its annual talent show in order to boost morale during the long patrol. However, after all the contestants displayed their various talents, command judges have predictably chosen that one smug asshole with the ukulele as the winner.

The four judges, who consisted of three members …