WASHINGTON — Engineers at Naval Sea Systems Command are set to begin the next phase of their ongoing plan to test the effectiveness of emerging surface warfare technologies the Navy will never get to employ in actual combat this week, the Command announced.

"For heaven's sake, we don't actually want to ever use these weapons systems in battle," said head of NAVSEA, Vice Adm. William Hilarides. "If we abuse this technology we might accidentally win a war, and that's just an irresponsible use of smart power."

Engineers hope to install an electromagnetic railgun on the fourth planned Zumwalt-class destroyer, USS Wesley R. Crusher, currently under construction at Bath Iron Works in Maine. Railguns send high-powered electromagnetic pulses along a set of rails to shoot a projectile at supersonic speeds. Conventional naval guns use a chemical propellent and lack the "swag factor."

"Firing that monster will be like getting an unmodified critical hit every time you roll the dice, " said one engin…