FORT BENNING, Ga. – Soldiers in Headquarters Company, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division are in unanimous agreement that the new intelligence analyst has dethroned the chaplain’s assistant as the company’s top oddity, sources confirmed today.
Spc. Eric Pridemore, the new all-source analyst, raised a few eyebrows when he arrived at the unit clad in a movie quality Kylo Ren outfit. Days later, Pridemore wowed onlookers on the brigade PT field with a flawlessly choreographed lightsaber duel, playing both sides himself.
“He seemed normal enough at first, you know … for an intel analyst,” said Pfc. Jeremy Kelly, Pridemore’s roommate. “Then I started noticing some pretty strange stuff on his side of the room. Even odds he’s a furry and I’m pretty sure I saw him throw a shovel, pickaxe, and a bag of lye in his trunk when I was walking back from the bar last Saturday night.”
